Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.

Horses ride him.

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to heaven; Heaven comes to Chuck Norris. RIP.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.

Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."