When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once stabbed the Terminator with Bruce Lee.
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.
Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
