Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to heaven; Heaven comes to Chuck Norris. RIP.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.