Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.

What’s a nun's weapon of choice?

Nun-chucks.

Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.

Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

How do Chinese people name their babies?

They chuck a pan down the stairs.

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*

Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*

Me: Well, shit.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.

I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.

Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,

"Peter, Peter come to me!"

So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.

"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,

"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.

"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.