Chuck jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

All the Muslims are pissed off because 24 hours after Chuck Norris went to heaven there were no more virgins left.

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.