Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to nove
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
chuck Norris get`s pulled over by cop and the cop gets a ticket
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball -- and caught 'em all.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
When the Boogey-man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
Stephen hawking once stood up to bow down to chuck norris
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.