Christmas jokes
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.