Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Why can’t orphans selebrate Christmas :because they have no family
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What do christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
What did the orphan want for Christmas.
Parents
