What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas I don't know he still hasn't opened it yet
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
