Christmas jokes
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
My first christmas picture second one ima draw tommorw at school or tonight depends
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁