Christmas Jokes

Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas I don't know he still hasn't opened it yet

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year and he was so ungrateful like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? - Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

why is santa always a bich calling ppl names like hoe hoe hoe

if you are depressed, eat panera bread it is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy. Why?

The kid had no legs.

How many wives does Santa have? Hoe Hoe Hoe

What type of alphabet does an elf learn? The elf-abet

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

How did the tree get sick

It got tinsel-itis

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like? A: “Wrap” music

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer

whats the difference between family and cats...

cats wont abuse u at christmas

A week before Christmas my wife left me, she said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore. On Christmas eve Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "all I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world." On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.