Christmas jokes
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤