Chinese jokes
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What did the snake say to the mouse? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
Toilet: hi You: hi what?
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
Yo mama so stupid.
When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
asdf.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.