When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Chinese Jokes
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming βIβm Wei Tu Yungβ like I was supposed to know the name.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
ASIANS>!?!?!?
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
Why donβt Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"
Iβd tell you a Chinese joke, but itβs wong.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
