Why donβt Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Donβt they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: Itβs not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair
C4
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why donβt orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans canβt find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
The other day i pushed a Chinese women off the golden gate bridge i was Wong on so many levels.
