Chinese jokes
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
Memes
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
Reviews for the Chinese flag are in!
5 stars!
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do you call a shocked Chinese man?
"Hu le fuk!"
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.