Children jokes
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.
Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(