Children jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."