Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
Like this if you are in foster care.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Cocomelon.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
