Children jokes
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make it clap until its parents come home.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.