Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Children Jokes
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What was the orphan's name?
Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
