Children jokes
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."