My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school. Because he's dead. 😁
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non- orphan, you can slap the orphan but not the non- orphan because they can actually tell their parents
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? There dad can’t wake them up
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
