So one day in 3rd grade, i was making this art piece and i was talking about my friend that was a boy that i have known for 5 years. but then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I"M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!!!!" as soon as i heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing there butts off, but laughed so hard, i fell out of my chair!
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
“Grandma, tell me a story!” I said as we huddled near the campfire “Alright,” She said “Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches.” “Where is Timmy now?” I asked Grandma pointed to the campfire.
Mom can I be a fire fighter when i grow up Mom: oh you wont grow up caillou
Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Why did my parents never come back
Once when I was 6 I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree. Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little? Me: My sister SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
what an orthsn favourite movie home alone
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing. Her momma said Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your under-ware. Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew she wasn't wearing no under-ware.
Pov: you are 7y and you find a stick. SORD.
Ms Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that. Little Johnny: Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up that little shit wants to be gone down an alley
Q. What is an orphans favourite game
A. Hide and seek
one time michael jackson had an elergic reaction from eation 12 year old nuts
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
What’s an orphans favorite movie
Home alone
if your parents ever accuse you of lying....... Say "your the one who told me about Santa Claus"
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"
