Childhood jokes

What is the similarity between orphans and apples?

They both get thrown out.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?

Family Guy.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there would be no home base.

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?

A: Because the ball comes back.

What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?

It's a deady bear.

Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

Why can't an orphan have milk?

His dad didn't come back with the milk.

You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A family portrait.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

Dad: Oh, hey Brick!