Childhood jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?

Family Guy.

Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?

A: Because the ball comes back.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

Q. Why do orphans love elevators?

A. Because they're the only things to raise them.

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

Why can't an orphan have milk?

His dad didn't come back with the milk.

You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.

Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A family portrait.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.

Guess what? It had no home button.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."