When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said "I used all the milk to make your sister"
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted...
My father left me at a young age
He was only five
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn
Teacher: Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
guess how i got away from my mom saying i can't play fortnite, i took my stuff and I ran to Iran
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark. But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Ok so my brother mad this here it is
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense but he made it when he was like 3.
Why can't a orphan play baseball? Because they can't make a home run.
My Dad said he got me from the Shops and I remembered what grandpa said about him
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk but I could never find him
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
When I was little I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people..until I turned 7 I realized that it was just people doing voices..sad isnt it
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, "PEDOPHILE! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD."
Why does kids like Michael Jackson So much ?Because he made out of plastic and that what toys made out of 😂
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
