I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk but I could never find him
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, "PEDOPHILE! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD."
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?" His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes." The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?" "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking." The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister." The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father." "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Why does kids like Michael Jackson So much ?Because he made out of plastic and that what toys made out of 😂
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma. Why is that man in a box?" and she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "WHAT KIND OF BOX DID HE LIVE IN BEFORE?! HOW IS THIS BOX BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE?! IT'S JUST A BOX!" And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12 Because it doesn’t have a home button
Are you angry?
Go Bully an Orphan!
WHat are they gonna do, tell their parents?
me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
oh wait i'm thinking of....
why did the orphan cry when he got back home
because he did not have one
yo dad went to get milk and still hasint came back 10 years later !!!!!!!!
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted? Still being in the orphanage at 13.
I went to visit my childhood home I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories, they said no and slammed the door on me, my parents are so mean.
What if Game-of-thrones and Harry-Potter -Antagonism had a child? Coldemort!
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy litte kid you used to be.....
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for year (not my words)
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
My Father touched me yesterday i called him a priest
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist? Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older. || 20 YEARS LATER || Johnny: Mom now can you tell me why cuss words exist? Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them. Johnny: Damn Mom you shoulda told me that when I was still seven cuz now I really feel like that person.
