Childhood jokes
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
What do 9-year-old girls want? To be ate again!
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find their way home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it to home plate.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"
Marvin: "I don’t believe that."
Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"
The next morning,
Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Why do orphans cry?
Because they got no family.