Childhood jokes
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."
Why did the orphan cross the road? They thought they saw their mother.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.