Child jokes
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field? The baseball field has a home to run back to.
l li
ll l_
How i feel when...
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.