Child jokes
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Memes
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
When the school lets you near children again...
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.