Child

Child jokes

Sun

What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."

Kid

A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.

I AM SO SORRY!

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  • Name

    A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

    His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

    The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

    "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

    The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

    The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

    "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

    Exorcism

    Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

    Orphan

    Why can’t you give an orphan homework?

    Because they don’t have a home to do it in.

    Memes

    Stripper

    How do men like their women? Striped.

    How does a priest like their children? Clean.

    Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

    What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

    Homosexual

    If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

    Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

    Syndrome

    What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

    “A sped runner.”

    Orphan

    So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

    Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

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  • Teacher

    One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

    Orphan

    What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

    Motherboard.

    Orphan

    We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

    Orphan

    Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

    Orphan

    Why can't orphans play baseball?

    Because they can't find their home base.

    Orphan

    Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

    [Parent’s signature: __________]

    Orphan

    I love telling jokes about orphans.

    What are they gonna do, tell their parents?