Child jokes
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Madeline Mcannot find her.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
1 like = 1 Ukrainian child sent to Russia.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.