What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Child Jokes
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
I have an orphan joke.
But it needs parental guidance.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
