Child jokes
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Memes
Like if you know what i'm talking about
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂