Child jokes
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home to run back to.
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D