What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
What is David Bowie known for when making music, he gets his beats from his kids
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
my blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike he should have been paying attention
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
what is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?A home button.
what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him I felt disappointment
One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)
How is an orphan like a boomerang? They always come back!
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child? "I love you Twoson."
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first doctor”.
The doctor replies, “We’ll, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair”.
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news”. The doctor replies, “He’s dead”.
What happened to the eight year old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church? The priest stopped him on the way there
