A man and a child walk into a forest. The kid says "um sir its getting dark and i'm getting kinda scared". The man says "yeah well think how I feel I have to walk back out alone.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
