Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?
One baby in three garbage cans.