Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Child Jokes
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
