Child jokes
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Does a midget count as an orphan?
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."