Child jokes
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
Why do orphans hate baseball?
They don’t know what home base is.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Does a midget count as an orphan?
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?