Cheese

Cheese jokes

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

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  • I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

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  • Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!

    Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."

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  • A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

    The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

    Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

    Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

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  • If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.