What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra BARS and DOUGH
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver driver have in common? Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box
My proctologist used to be a photographer, he took x-rays and told me to bend over and say cheese
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra RHYME-A-JALAPENOS
Three men are working on a building site.
Everyday, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.
The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.
“By god,” the man exclaims, “I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and everyday, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself.”
The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.
“Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Everyday, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself.”
The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.
“I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself.”
The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.
The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.
At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.
“If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches,” says the first man’s wife, “I always thought he was being ironic!”
“And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches,” says the second man’s wife, “I always thought he was being sarcastic!”
“And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches,” says the third man’s wife, “but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!”
How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book
Why don’t old people have sex
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old
Cheese, a beloved food item across the globe, has a rich history, diverse varieties, and significant nutritional value. Originating over 7,000 years ago, cheese has evolved from a method of preserving milk to a culinary staple enjoyed in countless dishes and cuisines. The diversity of cheese is truly astounding. From the creamy Brie of France to the sharp Cheddar of England, the smoky Gouda of the Netherlands to the tangy Feta of Greece, each variety of cheese reflects the culture and geography of its origin. The process of cheese-making, while sharing a common foundation, varies greatly, resulting in differences in texture, flavor, and appearance. This diversity is a testament to human ingenuity and the rich tapestry of global food culture. In terms of nutrition, cheese is a valuable source of protein, calcium, and vitamins such as B12. However, it's also high in fat and sodium, which means it should be consumed in moderation as part of a balanced diet. Despite this, the unique flavors and textures of cheese make it a cherished part of many people's diets.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain. What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade curd.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say toasted cheese!!hahahahaha hehehehehe hohohohohoho hihihihihi huhuhuhuhuhu
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed? People they ordered pepperoni pizza but they got plane.
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
