Check Jokes

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

i thought you were just raising your eyebrow but I checked x-ray and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right

i saw your license it said your 15 I checked your face it says your 50

in the word of kerk cobane " check this sweet no scope "

Vernon's Japanese golfer joke in Harry Potter*check reddit*

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported

The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

why are orphan so scared of the dark the dad cant check the closet for them.

So i saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, what are you doing?

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: that sounds pretty SIMPle.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What kind of tests do rappers always pass?

SOUND CHECKS

Why did the rapper visit the bank?

To get his RHYME CHECK

I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!

Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠