Celebrity jokes
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.