Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What are Michael Jackson ́s Pronouns ? He He
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
