Caught jokes

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!

Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?

I haven't been caught.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

Why was the giraffe late to work?

Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!