Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.
two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........ IMAGINE
what's the difference between me and bill Cosby
I haven't been caught.
What will fall faster an emo or an apple? An apple because the emo would get caught on the rope
Hey guys, its Hailey here.
Ima start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
I got caught peeing in the pool
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in
Why was the giraffe 🦒 late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble? He got caught playing with his Privates!
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
got fired from the bank yesterday
they caught me drinking on the job
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught? He kept dropping the bass."
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"
Which tower is better at playing catch the south tower obviously it caught 2
I caught my wife cheating on me. I beet my son and grounded him.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye! Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
