Cant jokes
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Two wrongs don't make a white.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
I can't stand disability jokes.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.