Cant jokes
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Why did orphans eat ice cream cones?
Because they can't eat a family pack.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.