Cant jokes
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
How it feels to get so mad at the game. That you can't even explain your anger So you just low key Slime yourself out.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.