Cant jokes
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.