Cant jokes
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Why can't religion and science agree?
Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't go home :)