Cant jokes
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because the home button does not work.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.