Cant jokes
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home plate.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Why can't Indians play football?
Every time they get a corner, they open up a shop. 🙉
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Q: Why can't Asians play baseball?
A: Because they ate the bat!
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.