Cant jokes
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Answer: They don’t know where home is.
Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?
Because he's extinct.
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."