Cant jokes
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?
Because he's extinct.
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
Why can’t orphans eat cereal?
It says, "Family size."
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Answer: They don’t know where home is.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
Yo mama so fat, even Dora can’t explore her.
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.