Cant jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Answer: They don’t know where home is.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.