Cant jokes
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they can't get a green card.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
Skeletons can't play church music, obviously. They got no organs.
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!