Cant jokes
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
Your mama is so fat, you can't tell if she's pregnant or not.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."