Cant jokes
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.