Cant jokes
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"