Canning jokes

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

Why do candles like birthdays?

Because they can get lit!

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

Your face is so big that not even you can see it.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."

Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!

Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.

What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?

Because he didn't land either.

Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.