Canning jokes

Gwen, can we please chat? 😊

Can February march?

No, but April may.

I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.

Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

Why do orphans play with Barbies?

So they can have a home :)

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!

Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Answer: An egg.

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Answer: A promise.

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?

#Imbored

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never find home.