Canning jokes
can someone please tell what happened?
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
Memes
We can only see 90 degrees.
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?