Canning jokes

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?

A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never get a home run. 😭

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...

Can emo kids get a happy birthday?

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

A: Who can tell me a joke?

B: Life.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can never score home.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

What do you call a person with no arms and legs?

You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.

Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.

Why do orphans like to have sex?

So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."

Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.